THE LOAN

I’ve never understood the plot line in many films where the mobster sends his goons to kill a guy who owes him money. To me, this seems like a terrible business decision. Think about it….I lend you $50. You can’t pay it back or are having a hard time paying it back on time….so I kill you…..how does that settle my $50 situation? Not only that, but surely I’m paying the 2 big fellows….probably quite well, seeing as they’re MURDERING PEOPLE as a PROFESSION. High risk for high reward, right? Now I’m out even MORE money….AND I have a dead body to dispose of…WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? Leave the body laying there? What if this guy told a friend he owes me money? All of a sudden Belzer and Ice T are knocking at my fucking door bothering me about some guy who died.

Here’s an idea….lawn care. Great alternative to death. You don’t have to pay him great….you don’t have to pay him AT ALL. THIS MOTHER FUCKER OWES YOU MONEY. I would propose just about any scenario except the one that involves killing the person….dead people don’t get jobs….unless they’re musicians or Danish novelists. If you want your money back, at least you gotta leave the door open to the guy being able to walk to the ATM machine to get it for you. How in the world do you become such a powerful and wealthy bad guy if you lend huge sums of money to people and then kill them? How is that a profitable business? How is it even a profitable business if they DO pay you? Interest? That 10% you get some of the time certainly doesn’t make up for the 100% you lose most of the time when you KILL people. Plus you’re maintaining a high profile lifestyle to make people envy/afraid of you……expensive suits….limos….bodyguards….that all costs money too. It’s like buying a superbowl commercial that only shady criminal assholes see….shady assholes who you’re already employing. I can understand criminal activities as a way to supplement income. I don’t AGREE with it, but I understand it….but there’s so much you can do with your money than to lend it to a little, fidgety, pale nobody who’s legs you’ll no doubt have to break. Think outside the box, man. Do you have any idea how easy it is to get a new credit card? Do mobsters go away if you declare bankruptcy? Cash advances that you can’t pay back on a credit card is CERTAINLY A SMARTER PLAN THAN DEATH.

It’s not hard to make money in this world. It’s really not. There are ways. Some may be degrading or difficult….some may be stupid or dangerous….but I guess that wouldn’t make for a very good movie.

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One thought on “THE LOAN

  1. Killing the guy that owes you $50, sends a very clear message to the guy that owes you $1,000. You’ve heard of “New Math”? This is “Sicilian Math”.

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